The Beat of Your Heart

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

“Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

“My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

“You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.

“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

How fast do these little legs go?

I have an itch today, an itch to go- to run, to sprint. I need to leave. I need to do an 180 degree turn and sprint as hard as I can away from Chapel Hill.

Sometimes I feel normal life reminds me of things that I don't want to think about or be mindful of anymore. I long for that feeling of being somewhere new, where I don't know anyone or anything and my normal life is left to the wayside.

I can't explain it very well- but that is my heart and that is where I am at right now. I want to sprint.

Freedom.

Knowing that this is my Senior year, the word freedom has been ringing in my mind. In only 2 short months, I will be free from school. Free from papers that are looming over my head. Free from set hours of class time. Free from trying to fool my professors into thinking that I have been paying attention for the past 45 minutes. Free from academia and everything it tries to pollute my mind with.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she was telling me about some of her friends that were struggling with their faith due to some professor's lies. He claims he is not bias. He is. He claims not to have an agenda. He does. And because of the lies that he feeds hungry, bound up, students, they run away from God. Can you not see the chains he is looping around you? Do you not feel the heaviness of his claims? You think that the search for "true intellectual academia" brings freedom. Why have you fooled yourself?

God, the God who created every petal of every wildflower, the God who created every burst of sunlight, the God who created every cell in your brain that allows you to question him, loves you. He wants you. He is jealous for you. He sees these lies and he weeps over them. He sees you turning away from him and he pleads you not to turn one degree further. He doesn't think, "Oh great...have to go run after her again," but instead thinks "My child, my love, my bride- come to me. What I have for you is so much better. It is freedom."

We desire freedom. God WILL give us the desires of our hearts. He promises that to us. While we may not keep our promises, he keeps his. Our desires of freedom will be fulfilled because he gives us himself. There is freedom in the love of Christ.

Run to that, dear friends. Refuse to accept lies. Run to Freedom.